Pills I Took

What an interesting summer!

Let's see....I was depressed.......

.......then i was depressed some more.

then i was depressed again........

Some of you may already know that I've struggled with depression for most of my life.  It's not fun, and it's definately not "all in your head" as some people like to write it off.  It's frustrating both for the person suffering with it and for the loved ones of the person suffering with it.  I made the difficult decision about a month ago to finally get the help i need.real help.I dont mean just going to your primary care physician and saying, "im feeling down."......to which most respond, "Here's a prescription for Lexapro." then send you on your way.  It took many years and many episodes before i finally said thats enough.since then Ive come to realize that things dont have to affect me negatively if i dont want them to. Ive learned to live in the present and not to worry about shit i have no control over. Ive learned to let go of the feelings that burdened me, and the situations that were no good for me.  It was almost like getting a second chance at life....I realized that by holding onto all that shit and mess I was only harming myself further. I wasnt really living.  Im writing this blog not to air my "dirty laundry" but to let you all know that if you suffer from this wretched ass disorder or you know someone who does, HELP THEM.or HELP YOURSELF.  There's no shame in having this problem.  It doesnt mean youre high strung, or dramatic, or emo, or crazy. Its a legit chemical imbalance in the brain.You wouldnt skip going to the doctor if you had asthma or diabetes. idk how many people this will reach who will actually take something from it......idk whether itll be helpful or useless info to anyone out there.....idk if anyone will even read this........but if anything in this blog applies to you or a friend or a relative please dont hesitate to seek help.  Life is out there.    :)

"Yeah I'll have a Fish Sandwich......"

                                        "No father, I've never heard of a Cleveland Steamer..."
                                     
oh hai!


     So it's Lent.  For those of you who are not Catholic now nor have ever been Catholic......it's the period before Easter,,,leading up to Good Friday (the day Jesus was crucified) where you should give up a vice. Anyway, being that i probably was never a good Catholic i NEVER saw the point in this.  I don't consider myself Catholic anymore for reasons that i dont have time to go into right now....thats a whole other blog........but even when i was being raised in that religion it never made sense to me.  I mean i get that its supposed to emulate/commemorate jesus when he was tempted in the desert.....but seriously how does that make you a better catholic? Does that bring you closer to God??? Will you be ushered to the front of the line at the Pearly Gates and granted VIP access by St. Peter....does that come with bottle service or what?........


     I am in no way against religion in general, i believe in a God.in MY god...the one who i believe has looked out for myself and more importantly my family.  I believe that if you are happy with yourself when you go to bed at night....and you can say "i am a good person."...then God doesnt care if you give up chocolate for forty days.right?  i grew up fearing God, not loving him, which is very sad and no doubt influenced me to stray from catholicism.  It wasnt until recently that i began to realize that there are forces at work out there that are beyond us........but if youre gonna talk the talk...you should ALWAYS walk the walk. i found that most people are religious when it suits them. Be a good person to yourself, your family, your friends, even your enemies.......whether youre Catholic, Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, etc... thats the best way to get into heaven or whatever. I dont think God is on his facebook page much so he probably doesnt see that "Mary Johnson: has given up candy for Lent.">>>> "comment"..."like"......"share"

What have I been up to lately???...why im glad you asked.

So yeah it's been a minute since i blogged, i got a little discouraged. but FUCK IT!!!WE'RE DOIN IT LIVE!  I think my last post was on November 9th or something so almost a month has passed.....so much fun since then tho.

                                                     
First was my son's bday party...which needless to say was awesome.  I enjoyed watchin him play with his White cousins! my Grannie was there...i love her...she's a G.  Putch scored with the gifts...got everything he wanted and he deserves it!

And now onto the less wholesome stories.............

This picture was taken on November 13 when the Chicago Bears played Detroit.  I know that this pic looks pretty tame and you might be saying to yourself  "Whats so unwholesome about this,just looks like a bunch of friends enjoying a football game.what could possibly go wrong???"......im glad you asked....apparently no one took any pics past like 8PM when shit got weird as follows:

1)a bottle of seagram's was brought out

2)a bottle of jagermeister was brought out.

3)more beer was purchased

4)lynch got peed on by the dog upstairs while out on our balcony

5)jon peed in the tub

6)someone put on the talking heads, all hell breaks loose

7)lynch passes out in the bathroom

8)colin and kevin have a slap-off

9)rudolph visited

10)randoms showed up

.......sunday nights get rough

And then there was.......this...............

.....The 3rd Annual Ugly Sweater Party hosted by Mike and Gina.  and for those of you who are white and may not be aware of what is transpiring in the above photo it's the soul train line. Every great party must have one. I had one at my wedding.

Soul Train Line Tutorial

Step 1: gather with your best friends at a party.

Step 2: slam apple pie shots for three hours straight.

Step 3: turn on some music.

Step 4: form two parallel lines facing each other.

Step 5: take turns in order dancing down the center with your best novelty dance move (see above picture)

Step 6: repeat step 5 until something gets broken.like colins tooth.

Someone at the party, i dont remember who, asked me what a soul train line was and i thought i was dreaming....i thought EVERYONE knows what a soul train line is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...hence the tutorial just in case you need to be informed.try it at your next party you wont be sorry.unless you take your clothes off and we are there w camera phones.......Jose...........



oh yeah then there was this.........



Done with Sharpies btw.

Then this..................



Did i mention this?...............fuck my life.

 

needless to say it got weird really fast...... Happy Holidays!

P-A-T-H-E-T-I-C ....That spells "Adele"

Adele at the age of 5.

i know i've briefly ranted about this bitch already on FB but goddamit every time i turn on the radio one of her sorry ass songs are on.  They're not empowering....like at all...so idk why she's so popular right meow.  yeah she has a nice voice but why waste all that breath singing sad sad it-didnt-work-out songs. and yeah i suppose she's doing okay now because her sad saddy poo album went gold or platinum or whatever...but seriously girls...dont put yourselves out there like THAT. if adele were my friend i'd tell her "look, put down your stupid dolphin and unicorn stickered lyric book,make a hair appointment, a nail appointment, and a waxing appointment (because i know all you've been doing in the shower is crying...not shaving), get dressed in your hoe-iest outfit and go to the club.no you dont have to suck anything,just chill and see how many guys talk to you.it'll boost your ego and self esteem alittle and maybe that'll help you stop eating Betty Crocker Vanilla Frosting straight from the can."

Leggings: A Camel Toe Conundrum.....

Somewhere in the Middle East...a camel lost it's toe for this outfit.

I plead guilty! I've worn leggings as pants. Why not??? They weren't see through......and despite the fact that i may or may not have been camel-toeing I looked pretty cool. I think. So here's my dilemma.......IS IT EVER OK TO WEAR LEGGINGS AS PANTS??? i mean what the fuck? when i was in grammar school i owned spandex PANTS in practically every color. Leggings are the EXACT SAME FUCKING THING. same material. same skin-tightness. same quirky colors.  so why am i reading that its a no-no to wear leggings with a top that doesn't go past your butt? If it's because my vagina will seem to be smiling at everyone, that's lame...i can think of WAY worse things, i.e. if i weighed a buck eighty five AND THEN decided to wear leggings as pants. In which case my shit would look like a Texas Donut through my leggings.  Ladies...can i get some answers???? do you ever wear leggings this way??? Or am I just being a hoodrat?